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the Eton versus East Chiltington chronicles
"There's a new town being planned in Lewes district which will replace East Chiltington - to be developed on land owned by Eton College. ... So if you're looking down from the South Downs you'll have something more interesting to see than boring fields. This project needs a name which in the best traditions should be done by Lewes people. Any ideas?"

Eton Towers

by Zsolt Kerekes - editor

Soon after the wobbling shadow of the Etongrad comet settled above me in a holding pattern in February - I began a consultation in the Lewes Forum to come up with a better name... That was March. Things happened.

now we get to the new stuff

news:- July 2, 2021 - I've had a complaint from someone in Don't Verbalise the Downs that some of the so called "mocking" names suggested in this consultation series - name for a new town west of Lewes? - are actually too good - and that the deviloper might decide to use them.

So I asked myself - if I were in that devel's shoes what kind of a name would I pick?

It's not just good enough to type a couple of words next to each other and click them off to the internet somewhere.

If you're a proper diveloper you have to fill in some forms which say you have scored enough points on the bio-wordsometer scale and have offsetted any grammatical harms to another website far enough away that no one will notice too much if they step into it when getting out of their chauffer driven e-trikes to cut the opening ribbons and break earth in the big dig. So here goes...

Eton Towers

Eton Towers - lying between Old Plumpton and East Carnaged - is part of the Greater Blighton area - sharing with that illustrious city (which was only some shacks when Lewes was already well known) a proud heritage of buildings which stand tall and offer impressive views - including the Brighton i360 (built at a snip) and that building next to those cranes in Eastern Road - where they do proper snips and they've been building a helipad to help visitors who can't find any space in the car park.

Yes - I can say with confidence that Eton Towers (don't mention John Cleese) will offer sea views and have its own helipad parking for resident Oligarchs who may wish to leave London to escape any FSB hitmen (as the Eton new town isn't on any maps yet) and for the poorer people - without helicopters - we will be providing social housing and a subsidised hang gliding school - in stage 3 of this exciting 21st century urban-agriculture, new community-building project.

Remember the name - when it's time to vote in the LDC replan.
  • Vote for 1 big site.
  • 300,000 new homes in Novington Lane.
  • Vote - Eton Towers.

dispelling some matters... Eton or £ton?

Lewes Forum discussion on lewes.co.uk
Commuterton, ConcrEton, Covid Asylum, Downsview, Dunfarmin, East ChiltingTown, East Plumpton, £ton, Etonbury, Eton-cum-Chailey, Etongrad, Eton Mess, Etonot Green, Etonplex, Great Blighton, Gridlock, Least Chiltington, New Newick, Quidsinbury, Rurallerton, Wealdtown, West Cooksbridge, Wivelsfield Down, WrongThingWrongPlace,
Do you want new towns? - just tell us where  - article link re Lewes Local Plan  July  2021

What's Silent Spring got to do with Eton-Welbeck's new town plan for East Chiltington?
read the article - Final Spring in Novington Lane
.. silent spring and concrETON image wrongthingwrongplacedotcom

if you liked Eton Towers - you might also like this

consultation in planning - the burglar analogy